-------------------------------------------------
http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/getpage.aspx?edlabel=TOIPU&pubLabel=TOI&pageid=14&mydateHid=22-11-2010
No life without wife
Who would have thought a road could make a difference in the marriage market Ask these Bihari bachelors who have turned grey waiting for the dolis to arrive.But now theyve got the will,and are finding a way
Mansi Choksi | TNN
Bulai Rams grubby dhoti tells the story of his villages peculiar condition.The lonely septuagenarian hasnt changed it for a week.Hes too old to do it himself,his brother has gone to nearby Mohania to pick up household provisions,and he would never dream of asking his sister-in-law to help him tie a fresh one.His dhoti would have been sparkling clean if he too had a wife.But that is not to be.In Barwaan Kala every second man is perforce a bachelor.Its all a problem of access.
The villages of Barwaan Kala and Barwaan Khurd squat dizzyingly atop a peak of the Kaimur hills in Bihar.The only way to reach them is to negotiate thorny fields and hazardous rocks,a tortuous expedition on foot for four hours.There is no connecting road to the rest of the district.
Some 200 tribal families live here,and among them there are over 115 bachelors (aged between 16 and 80 ).The hilltops inaccessibility has been far too daunting for the otherwise intrepid matchmakers from the foothills.The hot-blooded males of the two villages have been left high and frustrated.
Getting a bride up here is only one part of the problem.No road means no hospital and no school (the nearest hospital and police station are 45 km away ).Pregnant women and the ailing are ferried in blankets,but not everyone has made it.The aanganwadi doubles up as a shelter for cattle because even the most determined social workers have paled and run away.Only cadres of Maoists are tough enough for this terrain.But that hardly helps the case of the Barwaan villagers.
While its relatively easier to get the girls of the village married,baraats turning back half way is a common lament.So why cant the 70 local girls be hooked up with the hapless guys Simply because marrying within the same village is against tradition.Every girl is a sister to boys in our village.Tell me,is it okay to marry your brother in the big city where you come from demands the miffed sarpanch,Ram Dayal Singh.
The last marriage ceremony in the village chowk took place half a century ago.Now,most marriages are solemnized in the foothills and in groups so that villagers only have to make one trip.The desperation of finding brides has forced some men to take matters into their own hands.Uddhal Yadav,30,moved in with relatives in the foothills to fool his prospective in-laws.Only after the pheras did he drop the bombshell about his real address.If I had said I was from Barwaan,no girls family would have even looked in my direction.My wife was upset initially,and did not talk to me for months.But shes got over it.
Saraswati Devi,who was similarly tricked,continues to bear a grudge against her husband for over two decades.My parents were foolish to send me here,she grumbles.My brother-in-law is still unmarried,and now my elder son is 20.Where will I find a wife for him
So is there a way out Only a choiceless choice: marry a girl from a lower caste or pay a heavy bride price in cash and cattle.Munna Ram,35,who married a Barwaan girl 10 years ago,says many marriages are fixed but not solemnized.The grooms party doesnt want to make the difficult journey even to bring the doli back.But I didnt do that, he says.A bullock cart and around 50 family members waited at the foothills while I went up personally and got my bride down.
Another bachelor Rajagiri Singh,now in his late 50s,says hes thought about moving out many times.But my fields are here,my ancestral property is here,how can I leave it all What will I have if I go away Five marriage negotiations have broken down.So have my hopes.
When MLA Ramchandra Yadav,was standing from Kaimur on a Bahujan Samaj Party ticket,he visited the village on his campaign trail during the last assembly elections and promised to remain a bachelor until he had a road built.
The villagers hailed him as Hanuman who would cut through the mountain for them.But only three months after his victory,he did something totally ungodly.He broke his promise.We all swore that we would not attend his wedding,and at least we kept our word.He let us down after we had campaigned for him day and night.He says he was forced,but I dont believe it.Now he is the father of a two year old, says an unamused Chandradev Yadav.
Still smarting at that betrayal,the villagers called a meeting near the temple last January and decided to build a road themselves.Armed with axes,shovels and hammers,they are cutting through the hard mountain.One group pushes the boulders aside,another breaks them down into chips,and a third levels the ground.We have flattened a 4.6-km stretch,and now a tractor can pass.We have 2 km more to go, says Chandradev,who is married.I got lucky because I have studied up to class X,but my elder brother is a bachelor.I feel his pain.
Soon after the men started their road,the forest department filed an FIR against 12 of them for constructing in a protected forest area.The police told them to stop work.Divisional forest officer (Kaimur district ) R K Ram says he didnt have an option.A Supreme Court ruling bars any construction work in such reserves, he says.Im just doing my duty.
But the villagers of Barwaan are determined to get their road.When someone was murdered here five years ago,no one from the police station came, says Chandradev.I doubt they will come to mourn the death of a couple of rocks.
Who would have thought a road could make a difference in the marriage market Ask these Bihari bachelors who have turned grey waiting for the dolis to arrive.But now theyve got the will,and are finding a way
Mansi Choksi | TNN
Bulai Rams grubby dhoti tells the story of his villages peculiar condition.The lonely septuagenarian hasnt changed it for a week.Hes too old to do it himself,his brother has gone to nearby Mohania to pick up household provisions,and he would never dream of asking his sister-in-law to help him tie a fresh one.His dhoti would have been sparkling clean if he too had a wife.But that is not to be.In Barwaan Kala every second man is perforce a bachelor.Its all a problem of access.
The villages of Barwaan Kala and Barwaan Khurd squat dizzyingly atop a peak of the Kaimur hills in Bihar.The only way to reach them is to negotiate thorny fields and hazardous rocks,a tortuous expedition on foot for four hours.There is no connecting road to the rest of the district.
Some 200 tribal families live here,and among them there are over 115 bachelors (aged between 16 and 80 ).The hilltops inaccessibility has been far too daunting for the otherwise intrepid matchmakers from the foothills.The hot-blooded males of the two villages have been left high and frustrated.
Getting a bride up here is only one part of the problem.No road means no hospital and no school (the nearest hospital and police station are 45 km away ).Pregnant women and the ailing are ferried in blankets,but not everyone has made it.The aanganwadi doubles up as a shelter for cattle because even the most determined social workers have paled and run away.Only cadres of Maoists are tough enough for this terrain.But that hardly helps the case of the Barwaan villagers.
While its relatively easier to get the girls of the village married,baraats turning back half way is a common lament.So why cant the 70 local girls be hooked up with the hapless guys Simply because marrying within the same village is against tradition.Every girl is a sister to boys in our village.Tell me,is it okay to marry your brother in the big city where you come from demands the miffed sarpanch,Ram Dayal Singh.
The last marriage ceremony in the village chowk took place half a century ago.Now,most marriages are solemnized in the foothills and in groups so that villagers only have to make one trip.The desperation of finding brides has forced some men to take matters into their own hands.Uddhal Yadav,30,moved in with relatives in the foothills to fool his prospective in-laws.Only after the pheras did he drop the bombshell about his real address.If I had said I was from Barwaan,no girls family would have even looked in my direction.My wife was upset initially,and did not talk to me for months.But shes got over it.
Saraswati Devi,who was similarly tricked,continues to bear a grudge against her husband for over two decades.My parents were foolish to send me here,she grumbles.My brother-in-law is still unmarried,and now my elder son is 20.Where will I find a wife for him
So is there a way out Only a choiceless choice: marry a girl from a lower caste or pay a heavy bride price in cash and cattle.Munna Ram,35,who married a Barwaan girl 10 years ago,says many marriages are fixed but not solemnized.The grooms party doesnt want to make the difficult journey even to bring the doli back.But I didnt do that, he says.A bullock cart and around 50 family members waited at the foothills while I went up personally and got my bride down.
Another bachelor Rajagiri Singh,now in his late 50s,says hes thought about moving out many times.But my fields are here,my ancestral property is here,how can I leave it all What will I have if I go away Five marriage negotiations have broken down.So have my hopes.
When MLA Ramchandra Yadav,was standing from Kaimur on a Bahujan Samaj Party ticket,he visited the village on his campaign trail during the last assembly elections and promised to remain a bachelor until he had a road built.
The villagers hailed him as Hanuman who would cut through the mountain for them.But only three months after his victory,he did something totally ungodly.He broke his promise.We all swore that we would not attend his wedding,and at least we kept our word.He let us down after we had campaigned for him day and night.He says he was forced,but I dont believe it.Now he is the father of a two year old, says an unamused Chandradev Yadav.
Still smarting at that betrayal,the villagers called a meeting near the temple last January and decided to build a road themselves.Armed with axes,shovels and hammers,they are cutting through the hard mountain.One group pushes the boulders aside,another breaks them down into chips,and a third levels the ground.We have flattened a 4.6-km stretch,and now a tractor can pass.We have 2 km more to go, says Chandradev,who is married.I got lucky because I have studied up to class X,but my elder brother is a bachelor.I feel his pain.
Soon after the men started their road,the forest department filed an FIR against 12 of them for constructing in a protected forest area.The police told them to stop work.Divisional forest officer (Kaimur district ) R K Ram says he didnt have an option.A Supreme Court ruling bars any construction work in such reserves, he says.Im just doing my duty.
But the villagers of Barwaan are determined to get their road.When someone was murdered here five years ago,no one from the police station came, says Chandradev.I doubt they will come to mourn the death of a couple of rocks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So as I read this article, I realized how different the world must be for them.
But then again there are equivalents of the same even to our lives.
We do live up on the hilltop. And if you choose to date anyone in the 'civilized' city we have to go through perfect scheduling, a continuous verbal attack of kaka shumacher, then hope that everything does go well to be able to catch the last bus back to isolation.
Why do we have to be so apart, with so little means to move about. The city dwelling people have so much of mobility and assess. We do get rejected because of the distance. And it hurts.
While we are definitely better off than the poor souls of Barwaan being in a Co-ed place it still does bother us.
No comments:
Post a Comment