Soul Searching - What it takes to bring out the best in you.

Every person does soul searching sometime in his / her life. The question is then is something in particular that needs to be searched. What is it that we all crave and aspire and hence we spend our energy to acquire the same.

Agreed to the premise that each person is unique and has his or her own strengths and limitations, what if we actually come up with tangible methods of achieving success.

And if this can be done. Can we all live life powerfully and live life that we love.

So with no further ado and without entering the domain of self help groups/books.

Lets look at to do things-

Plan - planning out the things and prioritizing is a way which will keep you organized. It will also lead to mental readiness as planning will make sure you have already done the activity once - mentally

Be prepared to listen - Listening is important in communication and communication is almost always involved in any activity you do.

Ask for - Ask for opinions /help when needed. Don't hesitate.

Innovate - Every time you find yourself comfortable. Tell yourself that its time you should think something new. Keep thinking. Look for the scope of improvement. Look around and may be you might just get that big idea.

Watch out for simple things.

Understand the recipients /consumers and customize. Before a recipent craves for a certain set of idea, it might be futile to introduce it.

Be inquisitive.

Try out new paths /new ways

If you get the idea, work on it, develop it, test it and then if you wish (and you must if its a great idea) execute it.

Keep yourself grounded. You may know a lot. and achieve a lot but in the whole scheme of things, you are and will remain a small speck and hence its crucial to be modest.

Keep Focus: If you have a goal, Work on it. Build up stamina to get there. May have to prioritize.

If you don't have a clear goal, keep working with your best efforts with open mind at whatever you do. When you find something that excites you. Keep it. May be that can lead to a goal.

The thing is to be productive and positive and try and create a difference in what ever you do.

Clean your mind. Just like each person has to clean himself physically to feel fresh, a cleared mind with no past thoughts or starting fresh leads to good work. Its like building a house on a flat land instead of one with a lot of debris. Ways to clearing ones mind is watching/experience/performing something interesting and /or getting a external motivation, or getting help to see ones blind spot.

Lastly - remember that what you are and what you do are different things. Don't let a setback affect your core.

By Ninad Tatke

The November Flame.

So it was flaming in the sun. It was flaming in the night.

And today after 2 years I spend 2 minutes in silence. Virtual silence, and remember those brave people who  sacrificed two years ago. I can not possibly understand the courage and the pain that was witnessed but I can atleast acknowledge them before I move on.

Its in nature of Mumbai to keep people grounded. But its the spirit which teaches to move on.

Logs in the ocean...

What is this feeling I now have,

I have care, warmth and tender memories.

And yet I have apprehensions, dilemmas and confusions.

Its like a sailor in the open sea, on a bright sunny day.

Worried about the rocks below.

We are all like logs in the ocean

sometimes we meet and then we drift away

unsure of destiny, unsure if we ever meet again

We can enjoy those small moments

or we can make each moment small

Is it stalemate that I am feeling now

Or is it a checkmate?

From Newspaper to viewsvapour

READ THE ARTICLE FROM TIMES AS REFERENCE TO MY BLOGPOST.

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http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/getpage.aspx?edlabel=TOIPU&pubLabel=TOI&pageid=14&mydateHid=22-11-2010

No life without wife 

Who would have thought a road could make a difference in the marriage market Ask these Bihari bachelors who have turned grey waiting for the dolis to arrive.But now theyve got the will,and are finding a way

Mansi Choksi | TNN 


Bulai Rams grubby dhoti tells the story of his villages peculiar condition.The lonely septuagenarian hasnt changed it for a week.Hes too old to do it himself,his brother has gone to nearby Mohania to pick up household provisions,and he would never dream of asking his sister-in-law to help him tie a fresh one.His dhoti would have been sparkling clean if he too had a wife.But that is not to be.In Barwaan Kala every second man is perforce a bachelor.Its all a problem of access.
The villages of Barwaan Kala and Barwaan Khurd squat dizzyingly atop a peak of the Kaimur hills in Bihar.The only way to reach them is to negotiate thorny fields and hazardous rocks,a tortuous expedition on foot for four hours.There is no connecting road to the rest of the district.
Some 200 tribal families live here,and among them there are over 115 bachelors (aged between 16 and 80 ).The hilltops inaccessibility has been far too daunting for the otherwise intrepid matchmakers from the foothills.The hot-blooded males of the two villages have been left high and frustrated.
Getting a bride up here is only one part of the problem.No road means no hospital and no school (the nearest hospital and police station are 45 km away ).Pregnant women and the ailing are ferried in blankets,but not everyone has made it.The aanganwadi doubles up as a shelter for cattle because even the most determined social workers have paled and run away.Only cadres of Maoists are tough enough for this terrain.But that hardly helps the case of the Barwaan villagers.
While its relatively easier to get the girls of the village married,baraats turning back half way is a common lament.So why cant the 70 local girls be hooked up with the hapless guys Simply because marrying within the same village is against tradition.Every girl is a sister to boys in our village.Tell me,is it okay to marry your brother in the big city where you come from demands the miffed sarpanch,Ram Dayal Singh.
The last marriage ceremony in the village chowk took place half a century ago.Now,most marriages are solemnized in the foothills and in groups so that villagers only have to make one trip.The desperation of finding brides has forced some men to take matters into their own hands.Uddhal Yadav,30,moved in with relatives in the foothills to fool his prospective in-laws.Only after the pheras did he drop the bombshell about his real address.If I had said I was from Barwaan,no girls family would have even looked in my direction.My wife was upset initially,and did not talk to me for months.But shes got over it.
Saraswati Devi,who was similarly tricked,continues to bear a grudge against her husband for over two decades.My parents were foolish to send me here,she grumbles.My brother-in-law is still unmarried,and now my elder son is 20.Where will I find a wife for him
So is there a way out Only a choiceless choice: marry a girl from a lower caste or pay a heavy bride price in cash and cattle.Munna Ram,35,who married a Barwaan girl 10 years ago,says many marriages are fixed but not solemnized.The grooms party doesnt want to make the difficult journey even to bring the doli back.But I didnt do that, he says.A bullock cart and around 50 family members waited at the foothills while I went up personally and got my bride down.
Another bachelor Rajagiri Singh,now in his late 50s,says hes thought about moving out many times.But my fields are here,my ancestral property is here,how can I leave it all What will I have if I go away Five marriage negotiations have broken down.So have my hopes.
When MLA Ramchandra Yadav,was standing from Kaimur on a Bahujan Samaj Party ticket,he visited the village on his campaign trail during the last assembly elections and promised to remain a bachelor until he had a road built.
The villagers hailed him as Hanuman who would cut through the mountain for them.But only three months after his victory,he did something totally ungodly.He broke his promise.We all swore that we would not attend his wedding,and at least we kept our word.He let us down after we had campaigned for him day and night.He says he was forced,but I dont believe it.Now he is the father of a two year old, says an unamused Chandradev Yadav.
Still smarting at that betrayal,the villagers called a meeting near the temple last January and decided to build a road themselves.Armed with axes,shovels and hammers,they are cutting through the hard mountain.One group pushes the boulders aside,another breaks them down into chips,and a third levels the ground.We have flattened a 4.6-km stretch,and now a tractor can pass.We have 2 km more to go, says Chandradev,who is married.I got lucky because I have studied up to class X,but my elder brother is a bachelor.I feel his pain.
Soon after the men started their road,the forest department filed an FIR against 12 of them for constructing in a protected forest area.The police told them to stop work.Divisional forest officer (Kaimur district ) R K Ram says he didnt have an option.A Supreme Court ruling bars any construction work in such reserves, he says.Im just doing my duty.
But the villagers of Barwaan are determined to get their road.When someone was murdered here five years ago,no one from the police station came, says Chandradev.I doubt they will come to mourn the death of a couple of rocks.

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So as I read this article, I realized how different the world must be for them.

 But then again there are equivalents of the same even to our lives.

We do live up on the hilltop. And if you choose to date anyone in the 'civilized' city we have to go through perfect scheduling, a continuous verbal attack of kaka shumacher, then  hope that everything does go well to be able to catch the last bus back to isolation.

Why do we have to be so apart, with so little means to move about. The city dwelling people have so much of mobility and assess. We do get rejected because of the distance. And it hurts.

While we are definitely better off than the poor souls of Barwaan being in a Co-ed place it still does bother us. 

Time is always on the side for people with skills

Certain things are beyond my comprehension and ability.

Ability : Like I can run 100 metres in 20 something seconds but if someone asks me to do it in 10 seconds, I cant do it. Atleast not in this lifetime.

Comprehension : So in the whole domain of information, I am nothing but a tiny speck.

Yet people ask me things and I do try and answer. It feels good to answer but then I feel odd. Is my answer in the right direction. Do I have any clue what lies ahead. The answer is no.

Does it give me any sense of responsibility and accountability towards the advice seekers. The answer is absolute yes. The time now is certainly uncertain and yet in the blink of the eye people indulge and say things which they should not. Things like this is not for me.

How do you know ?

Time is always on the side for people with skills and the people who work on those skills. And in this whole scenario it seems that the time is ripe to work on skills.

So when you do work on skills,

measure your efforts and honour them

See scope for improvement and follow through

Discuss your queries with peers,

Each day do something productive - try to add some thing positive

Take a review and restructure.

Kolkata Watch - An icebergs tip

Warning : The Characters and incidents used here in the description below are all real. Any similarity with any person, location and event is completely on purpose . 

So finally we were inside the train. It was all coming true. It was a dinner conversation a few days back when Ivory suggested that we should all go to Kolkata. Somehow everyone agreed and things did fall in place.

So Me ( Taken) , Hippo, Approval and  Ben  started out to a journey as wonderful as chronicles of Narnia - but sadly without the special effects.

So we had Ben  defeat Approval in a arm wrestling competition. We had the award ceremony and then Hippo and Ben had a pillow fight.

When we eventually landed in Kolkata. (By a train) we saw the evening traffic and we got struck in one place for around 40 mins.

Oh my God - Taken. What is this place. This was my reaction.

Images of city of God (Movie with Om Puri) flashed in my mind. Thankfully I was wrong. And I am glad.

Had milksoda at balwant ka dhaba. Nice. Liked it.

The first morning in Kolkata was spent with Great Expectations which began with a breakfast at Flurry's, a look at St.Xaviers College, the new post office and the whole Park Street area. Also BBD/ Dalhousie block was discovered. 

As we later came to know that this was one of the oldest areas. Also we saw writers building. A building where administration of the state takes place.

And ofcourse Taken had the privilege of running behind a bus to get some change. It was a scene. Approval and Hippo screaming at him to get the change and just as he reached the bus. It started moving and so Taken followed as fast as he could.

In the Evening we were shown the way by the Shenanigans who I guess knows the city as well as Lord Hastings himself or may be even better. So after having the best Puchka it was coffee time in the Place where the CCE close by 10 pm , actually closes by 8.45 but 10 pm it closes for sure. (CAFE COFFEE Evening)

The Bus tour the next day was interesting where we learnt that philosophy, history and culture are blended in Kolkatta roots. Also I learnt that I was not supposed to call a certain someone as laughing buddha, not even as a joke.


Victoria Memorial is indeed spectacular but I also liked the math, Bose house and the jain temple.


May the force be with us. (dedicated to that spectacular film our group watched at the house of  the great social reformer of last century Sir Raja Ram Mohan Roy). 


The wow of the planets dazzled us in the birla planetarium the next day. I had never seen stuff like that. 
Yeah ! I am sarcastic.


But Science City was  good and I felt nice to see entertainment with science packaged and positioned together.


Boat ride down the sethu bridge was also very good. 


A sup-rise for the Shenanigans ended a perfect day after a real delicious dinner  and for once Taken was completely wrong. Ben  was right to burn all the candles on the surprise birthday cake.


The lunch with Great Expectations lead us to the amazing fact that 3 kali mandirs were in the same area. It felt like Mahim. But Mahim has petrol pumps all around and Thane city actually had 3 petrol pumps at the same spot once. But thats enough fuel for debate for a day.


Then as we toured around the city with Sanky we explored areas like India Coffee House and Trams and all.


Ivory, her family and her friends made our dinner with her family one of the most pleasant and memorable experiences in our trip.


The trip had ended on monday morning or had it when we learnt about Eden Gardens - the real one, the race course and the building with 999 windows.


And to tell you the truth Taken actually understood what the trip meant the next day as he landed in CST - Mumbai.


He had just caught a train back to Thane when a couple of Bengali boys asked him which side the platform would come as they wanted to get down at Dadar . I with the charged up refreshed mind told them not only the direction of the platform but also the fact that they should get the corner (khopcha) so it would help them travel with comfort and also assist them to get off the train.


The looks of fellow train travellers told me that I had overstepped the mumbai's code un-written behaviour. We are not supposed to help unless asked. That to me is the major striking difference between the two cities.
One which helps on its own. the other minds its own business and helps out only when asked.
   
By Ninad Tatke

  

Pune Watch. Who taught them

Pune. 25th November

11.40 am - 1. 40pm

A beggar boy about 7 years with a baby beggar  sister about 4 years walked across the road in front of my Group at the university road and smartly the boy lifted a water supply pipe tap (1 inch) and drank water. He also used his hands to give some water to his sister. Nice gesture, our group thought. But wait, there was more.

The boy went on to close the tap, he turned its head so no water is wasted.

Then a few moments later when offered a pack of biscuits, the biscuits were shared with the sister, and then the boy run across the road and offered some to his mother and other siblings.

The small boy - was sharing, conserving water and displaying ability to adapt. 

Who taught these guys. No idea.

    

O Kolkata (Poem)

The city is silent . The world quite.

And then at 4.30. comes the first light

by 6.30 its lit up and bright

Kolkata oh my what a sight


The streets are full, young old rich and poor.

Some beg, some share and some lure

And a nap-time in the afternoon

That one is for sure



Kolkata where people are poor, streets are dirty

and yet no one complains

where politicians run rallies and morchas

for personal gains

And yet without anything changing

Everything falls in place




Ideas and debates are not short here

This is the city of wise men

Some lead to great revolutions and some

just go in vain


Oh Kolkata - What you hold in your memory lane




The roads are neat here

But neater are its people

The food is sweet here

But sweeter are its people.

People who are helpful, who patiently wait

And certain things they leave to faith



Where tramps run side by side to metros

where ideals, history and sentiments run side by side

with achievements and innovation and dedication.

Where people live with pride

Oh - Kolkata it goes far and wide.

By Ninad Tatke